After a huge complaining session on Khimeros, I've had this realization about what I was complaining about. Basically, it was just my going on about how it's extremely difficult to find jobs for multiple different reasons. Things like that EEO Quiz, having to fill out applications to fill out applications, people who won't even bother hiring you if you don't have a college education, things like that.
I later go on about how I knew that it was really just because the job economy is kinda sucky around here. Yet, I still have these fears that maybe it's because I wasn't a straight A student when I was in high school or because I don't have my parents babying and coddling me every step of the way. My parents taught me the value of a dollar and about how to, essentially, not need to depend on them every step of the way.
The more and more I think about it, the more and more I do wonder if there are things I could've changed in the past and what more I can do in the future. I really don't want to be stuck in retail for the rest of my life, especially not if I'm only getting paid New Jersey state minimum wage ($8.40). I understand that there are certain things I'm not as good at as I used to be. I'm really not as good of a cake decorator as I used to be. Yeah, I've really improved with my photography and drawing, but I'm not really in the heart of drawing much anymore and I can't get out all the time for photography.
In a way, I do kinda wish there was a sort of... apprenticeship I suppose it's technically considered, where you can sit down with people who've gotten extremely successful and just learn what they did. Like, you literally just sit down and get to speak with a successful person, or even more than one, in whatever line of business you want to go into and just listen to and take notes to what they did. Something like that would be really nice. Y'know, how do they keep themselves motivated and focused, how much did they have to push and shove to get where they needed to, things like that.
I dunno, I'm just so passionate in making my life better than what it is now and I want to fight for it. I just walked out of my job and permanently quit because voicing myself got me nowhere. I'd rather be jobless than deal with the mental and physical distress for minimum wage and get bitched at for when I can't do a specific thing.